bad news, facts of life, good times, Ideas, major rant, Rants

“How Was Your Day?”

Grrr. I hate this question.

I think it’s supposed to be reassuring, let others know that you care about them, and to generally have something to spark a conversation, and that’s okay. It really is. It’s just that it’s (usually) just a social nicety and the asker doesn’t actually care, even if they accompany it with a smile (but if it’s accompanied by a concerned look and its your mother, then maybe she does care…just a little). Plus, many of many of our days are mundane, so much so that the answer is not likely to interest you very much. Do you really want to know what I bought at the grocery store today? I would tell you because it’s so exciting that even I can’t remember. Do you really want to know how I spent my day…sleeping? Really? Really? Or are you just fishing, no, floundering something to talk about. Or is it another reason? Do you want someone to ask you how your day was and this is your best shot? If so, then just come out and say it with “guess what!?” or something. There’s no need to ask insincerely about someone’s day and then get mad when they tell you every boring detail. (Hint: if you didn’t want to know, then why did you ask?). It might not even get you anywhere.

You: How’s your day been?

Them: Good. <walks off>

See? Now how are you going to tell them about your awesome news if they just walk off like that. Wouldn’t it be better to arrest their attention, captivate them where they stand with HEY GUESS WHAT?!!” What’s that? You don’t want to sound self-centered? … BUT YOU ARE! So just own it and go on and tell your good news. That’s perfectly all right as long as you’re not so self-centered that even after you get everything out and it’s their turn, you turn the conversation right back around to you. No. That’s not cool.

Now if you’re one of those people who actually cares about my day, then YAAAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You guys are awesome and I love every one of you that I come across. Just so you know. 🙂

If you’re asking this out of boredom. Stop. It shows. That just makes being around you uncomfortable: we have to answer a question that we know you don’t care about. Enough said.

Finally, I want to explain a little more about why this question is generally annoying. It’s annoying because I can’t answer it. I never stop in the middle of my day and go “<gasp> How am I doing? Oh no! HOW AM I DOING? SOMEBODY TELL ME!!! This is a serious question that I must answer RIGHT NOW!” No. That never happens. I never evaluate how I’m doing. I just follow my schedules and my whims and see what happens. Rarely do I even sit down and evaluate my entire day. When I do sit down to evaluate myself, usually it’s an event that happened or a person I ran into. It’s never my day as a whole. Even when bad things happen in my day, I hardly declare that I had a bad day just because a few bad things happen. Sometimes at the end of a ‘bad day,’ something truly amazing happens and, it becomes a good day, despite the fact that the bad outweighed the good in pure numbers. If that good thing couldn’t happened without the bad things, then I don’t feel like I can call it either a good or a bad day. But most of the time, my day is rather mundane. And that’s okay. Neither bad nor good days would be so impactful without a plethora of mundane days. So don’t ask me how was your day, ask if anything interesting happen today? (a bit awkward, but you can spice it up). How are things going for you (a little vague, but better)? Did you do __ ? (if you know me/the person well) Basically, get specific. Specifics signals that you care, not that you’re just passing the time. ‘Cause being talked to just to pass someone else’s time insults you doesn’t it? So don’t do it to others. Thanks! 😀

Ideas, self-centeredness, side note, this is getting ridiculous

Facial/Name Nonrecognition: This is getting ridiculous (vol. 2)

Ok, this has happened like twenty times with seven different people (rough estimate).

Is this a common problem? In which one can not for the life of them place a name with a person, even if they remember meeting them? I can run into people, remember that I met them, and be totally shocked because I had forgotten what they looked like. This even happens in the face of people who I see weekly or daily, even.

I’m gonna chalk it up to not paying attention to people until they matter. Whether it be some interesting facts/convos I’ve had with them or, some information I’ve been told about them, it doesn’t matter. But, if I have information about the person, then I start to care. Otherwise, you fly rapidement out of my brain. Pardon my French.

But seriously, I’m starting to feel a little rude. I don’t mean for this to happen, but it’s automatic. It’s just weird when people recognize me and I only recognize our story. Not them. Not their face. Usually not their full name (oftentimes, I can guess a letter but I usually completely forget). Just our story: where I met said individual, what happened, were they nice or creepy. If this is widespread, then I guess our brains are like secretaries. Taking notes without stopping to visually observe. This is useful in conversation, but not when forming connections between people.

PS: A little more individuality in hair and style, please! Too many people look the same. (Or maybe I’m not looking hard enough)


facts of life, good times, Ideas

Blissfully Drowning

This is a mighty weird equilibrium. I’m drowning in homework, but I’m blissful and unstressed. I feel like I’m caught up. But I’m not. I wake up early to work. I work. I meet some goals. I’m happy. I’m not done yet. I’m never done. We’re never done. But you know what? It’s okay. A good night’s sleep will make everything better…even when you still haven’t finished a mountain of work due the next day. Just wake up at 4, you’ll finish. You always do. Oh wait, you have an adviser meeting at 9? So you have to get dressed and look slightly presentable? Yes, I thought so. Hungry at 8? You chew slowly so this is gonna take a while. Lots of readings? Can’t do them since you have to study a little more for that test. You’re probably not gonna have a pop quiz anyway. Life is good. Life is sweet. Take a walk for an half an hour. In the rain. At night. Enjoy the smells. Slow down. Chill. Take some photos. Not of yourself, but of your surroundings. Put work away. Put it away. Right now, work doesn’t matter. Life does.

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facts of life, Ideas, self-centeredness

A Strange Depression and Conflict that Occurr when the Parents are Coming

I love my parents
I love independence
I love their advice
I love to try it out for/by myself
I love their company
I love my company
I love their guidance
I love my bruises
I love their existence
I love that I will be in their shoes one day

I want them close by
I want to grow
I want to be cared for
I want a hardy backbone
I want to be watered
I want to flower

We can’t have our cake and eat it too, can’t we? Is this selfish? Over thinking? Underthinking? Is it possible? I’d both love and want for it to be so. If not, what should we give up? What trade offs are worthwhile? Are there any tradeoffs? Does giving up one weaken the other or does it backtrack and bolster the other? Both? All? None?

Ideas, self-centeredness

Confirmed Loner: It’s Actually Quite Nice

Today was a day off. I was supposed to go the the circus with some friends. I woke up early (ON A DAY OFF!!!) and went down, only to have a friend tell me that they didn’t get my RSVP and there were no tickets.

So now what?! Everyone else was gone visiting family and the whole, silent campus presented itself to me as a boring and despondent captivity. I didn’t know what to do. I worked on some art, but felt bored and judged by people walking around. The silence was drilling into my head, drilling into my sanity. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I just got up and left. Good thing I brought money.

I decided to go to the loop (strip of stores off campus) and do some impulse shopping, get some food (since the dining hall was so empty), and look around. At first, I felt a little bad since I was alone and everyone was walking with friends all la-di-da. But, I grew to realize something. That I hadn’t enjoyed myself this much in  a long time. Finally, I had peace and the ability to do whatever I wanted. I could follow my whims without needing to explain them to anyone, without needing to convince anyone to go to the art supply store or just walking around. Gone was the fear of being judged because…I wasn’t with anyone who cared. Strangers certainly didn’t care (thankfully). And I enjoyed being alone, no pressure.

The circus would’ve been interesting, but so is peace and solitude.

Btw, there’s a panera and a smoothie shop. Things are lookin’ up!


Ideas, Uncategorized

What’s an American?

This is a question that has been bothering me for a while. Literally anyone who’s ever lived here had roots from somewhere else. Yes, even the Native Americans. (Think about it, they had to get here somehow.) I’m curious. At what point does your background stop mattering and your present life begins to define you? Take African-Americans, for instance. African or American? How are they African if they don’t know and can’t really reconnect with Africa? I often feel strange calling myself American when America only just started speaking somewhat friendly towards us. But what else can I call myself? The past is too far back for me to adopt it. Take Native Americans. They were here, presumably first. They certainly didn’t call themselves Americans for, America is derived from an Italian name (and they probably weren’t Italian…right?). They came from somewhere. When did they stop defining themselves as where they came from and start to define themselves by their current tribe/location? The Pilgrims, too. First they were English, then they grew distant with the old country and became American. Why would anyone stop seeing themselves as where they came from? At a certain point, does the past fade away into an irrelevance so deep that a whole new identity must be forged? If the decision was based on the moment, as were the formation of several denominations, then is it only made based on conflict as children who run away from their families (or, more subtly, go far far away to college) change their names and, thus, changing their identities. Abraham, even, had this experience. According to Genesis, God told him [he was named Abram at the time]to leave his extended family and parents and move away in order to the patriarch of a new nation. His name was changed a while later, to Abraham and he had no further contact with his old family. They were an old nation, he was starting a new one. Here, the point is well defined. The record has been found and remains extant and easily accessible to the public. Other stories have been lost, never told, never survived time, or were never found (archaeology has its limits, guys). What I want to know lies the present. I’m concerned with what an American is and if, or how, the current ideas should be modified. Race or ethnicity obviously should not characterize ‘American’ but what else can? How else do 313.9 million people feel like they’re all connected by an overarching theme or even the skeleton of a basic culture that not only gives other cultures some space but also gives us a common ground? Is this even possible?


Questions That Probably Don’t Have Answers but I’m Gonna Ask Them Anyway

  1. Does buttered toast land on the buttered side every time? …really…?
  2. What would it be like if colors had taste as well? (yes, i know about the frequency of light and photon emission….)
  3. Why does chewing gum get tough but blowing gum stays soft and sometimes falls apart? (maybe I should back off from sugarless gum)
  4. Why has classical music lasted? Older people must be really good at transmitting their culture, cause it’s been like hundreds of years (not complaining by the way, classical music is awesome)
  5. Who discovered milk? HOW? (my guess is that it saw the calf drinking milk from its mama and thought it’d be great to have milk even when you’re not a suckling infant)
  6. Cheese must have been an accidental discovery….right? So was alcohol…?
  7. Why even invent the viola (VIOLA’s AWESOME, THANKS FOR INVENTING IT)? They could’ve just adjusted the violin and made a 5-stringed instrument more like a viola; then, no more fighting over always getting the bad parts!
  8. Parents: why don’t you all embrace kids growing up? We’re not like birds, we won’t fly again and forget where we came and never come back from after a winter at the beach. Wait…
  9. Of what use is cursing? Are there just no words bad enough? Why does everyone eventually start cussin’? (SOCIETY AT LARGE ಠ_ರೃ)
  10. What’s the point in firing up divisions in people if you’re gonna make them stop short of overt action and just stick to insinuations and passive anger? Very annoying…
  11. Would the story have been different if Tesla and Edison were a pair: one does the inventions and the other turns the profits (and shares them equally; if he didn’t want to share, then the outcome is totally understandable.
  12. Why is it not okay for movies to have artistic license and change up the plot of the book they’re based on? I used to get so mad at this and then I realized (after watching a really good, but mixed up, version of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland the Ballet) that mixing up the plot CAN be okay. (Plus, i wasn’t like a huge Alice-hard fan)
  13. Why do some people hate certain textures of food? (hating creaminess, for instance, has kept me from enjoying ice cream and the like. I know…you can’t believe it)
  14. Shouldn’t we know, by know, the difference between stereotypes and reality and still allow both of them to exist?
  15. Why does kindness from strangers make us feel better than kindness from close relatives/friends
  16. Who noticed that the “Yes we can!” campaign slogan was stolen/adapted from the Bob The Builder theme song?
  17. Why do people go to movies that insult them/their demographic?
  18. Is polygamy bad? (no, i’m not a guy or a girl with issues)
  19. Why do new songs become ‘old’ a couple weeks after being released? Are they really that bad? really……? ¬_¬
  20. Is this true? Racism is like puberty, you get it when you “grow up” and it takes a while (sometimes never) to realize that you haven’t actually grown up and just think you have.
  21. Why does writing in a journal make me fall aslee…zzzz (note: true story, see phota)


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