facts of life, self-centeredness, this is getting ridiculous

The Avoidant Personality: This is Getting Ridiculous (vol. 1)

So, I just started college and I’m regularly meeting people. Something I’ve noticed is that I’ll meet someone, have a nice conversation, and then when we part ways, I’ll swear to myself: “okay,  never going there again.” And I will actually avoid it as much as possible (I kinda have to go to the dining hall, though, but to-go is such a lifesaver). When I see them again, I try to look busy or surprised that they’re there and then get ‘distracted’ by a loud noise so that I don’t need to talk to them. Then I sigh with relief, congratulating myself on not being obvious. If I have to go to that place again, I become buried in my phone,  starting fb conversations with really good friends so that the convo lasts long enough to keep me ‘occupied.’ This is getting ridiculous. It makes me waste hours walking around aimlessly,  trying to find a new study spot. My obsession even extends to specific pathways. I wouldn’t even need to be this way if I didn’t love being here, which makes me friendly – looking and approachable because my internal happiness reflecting in my small smile. I genuinely like many of the people I’ve met, but I’m always running away from them, contrary to my actual opinions of them and especially if they like me as a person. Then, I disappear. I could have many friends, but I don’t.  What’s worse, if they either don’t like me or are lukewarm, I practically live where we met and salute them heartily. So, maybe it’s a mix of avoidance and revulsion for those who like me.  Weird. If that’s true, then what am I doing blogging? On a positive note, I have overcome this once in the past year (yaaaay),  so that means progress! (Despite the fact that now it’s much worse). Well, I’ll keep trying to be normal, Ciao!

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One thought on “The Avoidant Personality: This is Getting Ridiculous (vol. 1)

  1. Pingback: The Avoidant Personality: Solutions | gottatype

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